Do you ask yourself sometimes when contemplating on an issue, a problem, WHY is this happening, again, to me?
What’s going on with the WHY?
We are all, sometimes, in a situation like this, where we will scratch our heads and think, or say it out loud, WHY is this happening, again, to me?
We all do think about it once in a while what life will look like when certain things could be different.
This part is a crucial one because it will stop some of us in their tracks, rather giving up than to move on. For others, again, it is the fuel they do need to move ahead, no matter what.
Nevertheless, what is the reason for this, that some of us are being virtually paralyzed by a situation where others are getting more motivated?
How to ask is the Key
Well, those individuals who rather charge forward than backing off have one part different, they will suffice, it is how they ask.
The question they are asking is not “WHY” things are occurring to them.
The question they are asking is “HOW” they can shift it, enforce it, serving it.
It is totally okay though when we are getting upset, or really angry about something, or someone, to ask why?
You know, these kinds of questions:
- Why can I get a decent job where I can work from home?
- Why can I have just 10 minutes to myself instead someone of my family always wants something from me
- Why can’t I achieve my goals and aspirations like anyone else does?
We are still doing this kind of questionnaire sometimes and it is okay too, as long as we can “snap” out of it again and switch the art of questioning into “HOW“.
Asking why, at first, almost makes sense. It looks like a good way to find the root cause of our question and we will find the correct solution to solve the issue.
However and unfortunately, this isn’t the truth.
When you look closer you can see that when asking constantly Why this or that keeps happening, you won’t seek the answer you actually need. It will leave you stuck, meaning, getting more and more frustrated, discouraged, giving up.
It just doesn’t change anything, doesn’t it?
Why using “HOW” instead?
Now, I like to show you an alternative, something you can try out and see for yourself how it will change the dynamic.
It might get a bit used to it, at first, but with practice, you can see how things are changing around. Actually, this concept is pretty simple.
Here are, once again, the three questions I have asked earlier starting with a Why.
Now, I begin with a How:
- How can I find a decent job where I have the opportunity to work from home?
- How can I manage to get 10 minutes for myself without being interrupted?
- How can I achieve my goals and aspirations?
As you can see when reading both versions of the same questions, the dynamic of the “HOW” question is much more uplifting, much more promising that there is something we can do, where the “WHY” question is only giving us more concern.
With the use of the word “HOW” we are becoming a powerful creator, we are actually in charge of everything.
When using the word “How” we have stopped the blaming game, which really is never ever helpful at all.
With a “HOW” you are able to create a positive outcome in any situation and by doing so you are creating a life for yourself, you will love and appreciate.
Without going too deep in this article I still like to mention, that the use of words is more powerful than you might think.
Words are also weapons and I don’t have to explain to you that they can hurt. We all have experienced it in our lives.
Hurtful words can destroy a person, even lead to suicide. In the digital day and age, we are living right now, it is even more dangerous than ever before. In the old days, we had to look the person in the eye when we were angry about something and voiced ourselves.
Nowadays, people can hide behind a fake account with a bogus picture and don’t have to be accountable for what they saying, actually texting and how they saying it.
This is a very crucial fact where everyone, more or less, feels “unhinged” to say what they want in a way they want.
In my opinion, the internet is just awakening to perceive the concept that something has to be done. Without touching the Right of Free Speach or Freedom of Expression, there still has to be rules and some regulations in how we doing it, in how we choose our words and in how we interact with each other.
We need to be accountable for how we speak. An opinion is only an opinion when we still can accept the opinion of the other person. If we don’t we have lost a major part of our humanity.
Again, instead of asking “Why” we might lose our humanity we should ask, “How” we can strengthen our humanity so we won’t lose it.
Can you feel the change of dynamic when using both words? The only thing they have in common, both words are three letters long. 🙂
I hope, this article has given you something to think about it and if you are interested you can leave me your thoughts about the “WHY” and the “HOW” below in the comment box.
Wishing you always an outstanding day 🙂