Asking “WHY” sometimes won’t help to find the answer, but “HOW” does

Be & Stay Empowered!


Are you asking yourself sometimes when contemplating on an issue, a problem, WHY is this happening, again, to me?

What’s going on with the WHY?

We all are sometimes in a situation like this, where we will scratch our heads and think, or say it out loud WHY is this happening again, to me?

We all do think about it once in a while what life will look like when certain things could be different.

This part is a crucial one because it will stop some of us in their tracks, giving up rather than move on. For others again, it is the fuel they do need to move ahead, no matter what.

So, what is the reason for this, that some of us are being virtually paralyzed by a situation where others are getting more motivated?


Well, those individuals who rather charge forward than backing off have one part different, they will suffice, it is how they ask.

The question they are asking is not “WHY” things are occurring to them.

The question they are asking is “HOW” they can shift it, enforce it, serving it.

It is totally okay though when are we getting upset, or really angry about something, or someone, to ask why? You know:

  • Why can I get a decent job where I can work from home?
  • Why can I have just 10 minutes to myself instead someone of my family always wants something from me
  • Why can’t I achieve my goals and aspirations like anyone else does?

We are still doing this kind of questionnaire sometimes and it is okay too, as long we can “snap” out of it again and switch the art of questioning into “HOW“.

Asking why first almost makes sense. It looks like a good way to find the root of the cause to our question and we will find the correct solution to solve the issue.


But, unfortunately, this isn’t the truth.

When you look closer you can see that when asking constantly Why this or that is keeping on, you won’t seek the answer you actually need. It will leave you stuck, meaning, getting more and more frustrated, discouraged, giving up.

It just doesn’t change anything, doesn’t it?

Why using “HOW” instead?

Here, I like to show you an alternative, something you can try out and see for yourself how it will change the dynamic. why-how

It might get a bit used to it, but with practice, you can see how things are changing around, actually, this concept is pretty simple.

So, here are once again the three questions I have asked earlier starting with a Why.

Now I start with a How:

  • How can I find a decent job where I have the opportunity to work from home?
  • How can I manage to get 10 minutes for myself without being interrupted?
  • How can I achieve my goals and aspirations?

As you can see when reading both versions of the questions, the dynamic of the “HOW” question is much more uplifting, much more promising that there is something we can do, where the “WHY” is only giving us more concern.


With “HOW” we are becoming a powerful creator, we are actually in charge of everything.

With a how we have stopped the blaming game, which really is never ever helpful at all.

With a “HOW” you are able to create a positive outcome in any situation and by doing so you are creating a life for yourself, you will love and appreciate.

I hope, this article has given you something to think about it and if you are interested you can leave me your thoughts about the “WHY” and the “HOW” below in the comment box.

Wishing you always an outstanding day 🙂Sylvia signature

Be & Stay Empowered!

4 thoughts on “Asking “WHY” sometimes won’t help to find the answer, but “HOW” does

  1. I agree. Asking “how” seems a lot more positive than “why”, and it’s so important to remain positive. Also, many people want to blame others for their failures instead of asking “how” they themselves can correct the problem. It’s important to take control of our own situations and realize that the only thing stopping us from being successful is ourselves. Thanks for this positive post.

    1. Thanks, Gary for taking your time to leave a comment.
      You are certainly have spoken very wisely.
      People have the tendency to play the “blaming Game” instead of looking at themselves and what “they” can do to change the situation.

  2. Hi Sylvia,
    Wow! That really made a lot of sense. I’m trying to think of some why questions right now that I can convert over to how. I know I’ll think of one just as soon as I finish this comment.

    This is going to be helpful to me, thank you very much. I’ll be thanking you again the next time I have a why question and I’m able to figure out the how of it.

    Wish you the best!

    1. Hi Gina,
      Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment.
      You certainly can do this to ask me next time a question in how to proceed. 🙂

      Have a nice day!

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